


Is This Hell Or Indianpolis?

by CobaltStargazer



Series: Hiding In Plain Sight [6]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Emotional Sex, F/F, Resolved Sexual Tension, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2014-05-05
Packaged: 2018-01-22 01:31:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1571012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CobaltStargazer/pseuds/CobaltStargazer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex had been coping just fine. And then she had to go to Indiana for work. With Erin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is This Hell Or Indianpolis?

Erin didn't know what to expect after she broke off the unofficial thing with Alex. The brunette had acted fine with it, even relieved. They'd barely talked on the way back to her car, and she'd taken the other woman's wave as a positive sign.

So when Alex froze her out almost altogether, cutting their interactions down to the bare minimum required for work, she was stung but not surprised. They still spoke in the corridors, and every now and then they'd have a working lunch, but the banter had been replaced by stiff and uncomfortable silences. The linguist was always coolly polite, always cordial, but Erin couldn't help but feel that she'd wrecked something precious out of her own fear that she'd admit something she didn't want to admit.

_It's for the best. You did it for both your sakes. You can't do what you wanted to do with her. A woman in your own office? It would be insane._

It did hurt, though.

Alex herself had struggled with the shutdown at first, but it got easier when Erin didn't press. The blonde had made herself clear, she wanted to be colleagues and nothing more. If her feelings were still hurt, she was planning to ignore it until it stopped happening. If she pretended for long enough that she was okay, at some point it would actually be true.

Time passed. The real test came when James was called away again, this time to Germany. Alex hadn't wanted him to go, had almost said so, but she'd refrained by using the logic that she needed to find out if she could stay away from Erin without her husband around. If she was only safe because he was right there, then the fever hadn't really broken, had it? So she kissed him goodbye at the airport, then watched his plane take off from inside the terminal. Felt shaky, but mostly all right.

When the assignment for a case in Indiana came up, Alex volunteered. She wanted to flex her intellectual muscles, and with James out of the country the house was quiet at night. That it would mean avoiding more interaction with Erin was just a bonus. She was never not civil, but in her private moments she could silently admit that it got wearing.

When the brunette boarded the jet, suitcase in hand, she was stunned to see the other woman already ensconced in a seat with a book in her lap. Alex looked towards the front of the plane, then looked outside and saw the flight crew approaching. She was okay. She was _fine_. Alex took a seat on the other side of the aisle, having stowed her go-bag in the overhead compartment. If she sat too far away, it would send the wrong message. She let out a breath.

"I'm surprised to see you here, Chief Strauss. I thought you preferred to stay out of the field."

"Normally I do. But the local police there are already jockeying for position with state law enforcement. They're going to need a bureaucrat to smooth things over."

Erin's voice was neutral when she spoke, and she kept her eyes on her book, but she was very aware of Alex's close proximity. The brunette had mentioned that her husband was away again, but her voice was so cool when she brought up the subject that it was clearly not a topic for discussion. They didn't seem to have conversations anymore, just work-related talks. But wasn't that what she'd wanted?

The linguist looked over the case file she'd been given, concentrating on the established facts so she could be sharp when they landed. If there was already a pissng contest going on, they'd have to be obviously competent to soothe ruffled feathers. Maybe it wouldn't be terrible to have Erin along.

It was going to be hell, but she would cope with it. She _would_.

The Bureau had booked the agents on the case some rooms at a mid-level hotel in the area, and to Alex's relief she and Erin were on separate floors. That must have been a perk f the blonde's rank. The brunette dropped her bag on the neatly made bed, pondered a shower. Then she decided against it. They had to meet the local LEOs soon, and the pre-existing tension required professionalism. That meant promptness.

It turned out to be a case of kidnappings that turned into ritualized killings,and the latest victim turned out to be the step-daughter of one of the chief investigators. To Alex's reluctant admiration, Erin's aloof demeanor served well in creating inroads for teamwork. Her own hurt at being so summarily dismissed aside, she had to admit that that restraint _could_ come in handy.

After the initial briefing and assigning of responsibilities, they retired to the hotel. There was a restaurant on the ground floor, and although Alex had eaten a light lunch on the plane she was starving. She was about to check with the hostess abut a table when Erin rounded the corner and headed in her direction. The brunette paused, indecisive, and the hesitation was enough to allow the other woman to catch up with her. She arranged her features into a neutral mask.

"Planning on having an early dinner, Dr. Blake?"

Erin's voice was cordial, and she ignored the fact that her stomach had clenched when she'd spotted the linguist. Perhaps it had been a mistake to volunteer to pour oil on the waters for this assignment. The Bureau had others who were just as competent, and it would have helped her avoid temptation. Her declaration of wanting distance between herself and Alex to the contrary, she couldn't deny that the brunette looked _very_ fetching.

_Stop.Stop now.Before you even start._

"Would you care to join me? We could talk shop, discuss the details of the case."

And oh God, but it was tempting. Alex had missed their talks. Erin was intelligent and insightful, and maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they talked about work. But the possibility of sitting at a table with the blonde also included the possibility that things would turn personal. The brunette had worked hard to maintain the lack of closeness they'd had before, and any breach in that wall might bring the whole thing down on her head. Why leave herself open for more hurt?

"I've changed my mind," she said formally, retreating behind her professionalism."I can order something from room service, then set a wake-up call. Besides, I promised James I'd phone him before I went to bed."

Erin's face fell, and some mean part of Alex enjoyed that. Wasn't _she_ the one who'd said the after-hours fraternizing should stop? If she was going to keep changing the rules, she deserved what she got. Even if, deep down, the linguist knew she was running away like a coward.

"Give him my regards," Erin said, switching to formality as well. She wondered what James thought of his wife working away from home so often, if it ever bothered him. Probably not, not with all the traveling he did himself. For a fleeting moment, she wondered if Alex had been with others during those frequent trips her husband took. What if she wouldn't have been the first?

That shut her down the rest of the way, a surge of something dangerously like jealousy causing her to turn on her heel and head into the restaurant. Had she known how perplexed Alex was, she'd likely have turned back.

James did get his phone call, and they talked for a while as she ate her dinner. Just hearing his voice eased Alex's apprehension. The brunette said she'd let him g when he started to yawn, promising t call in a couple of days if she was still in Indianapolis. They exchanged 'I love yous', and after she hung up she took a shower and put on pajamas, then hit the sack. 

The case progressed, and Erin and Alex were more or less forced to converse as clues fell into place and the picture became clearer. The brunette avoided all opportunities to spend extra time with the other woman, but the demands of the job kept them in close contact. She was aggravated and secretly delighted. And frustrated as hell knowing that the woman was sleeping in a bed one floor above hers. But she refused to seek Erin out for any other reason than professional matters. That door was closed.

Five days passed. Alex spoke to her husband on the phone twice. Due to time zone differences and the importance of James' own work, they couldn't speak as often as she would have liked. Sometimes she felt as if she needed to remind herself that she was married, especially when Erin would give her a very veiled look. The blonde might not have even been aware she was doing it. Or that she could make her stomach tighten with something that was both alien and welcome. 

It turned out that the killer was a local, someone who'd lived in town for most of his adult life. When he was apprehended. he had a new would-be victim locked in a cage in a storage shed. It was one of those things that seemed to have no rhyme or reason, and it left Alex exhausted . When she got back to her room, she couldn't reach James, and that compounded things. The restaurant had a bar, and she ended up there, where she ordered a gimlet. Not even the sight of Erin sipping an identical drink could chase her away. She stiffened her proverbial upper lip, drank half the contents of her glass

"You shouldn't drink alone, Dr.Blake."

Erin's voice was grave,but she was ridiculously pleased just the same. Alex had been shutting herself up in her room when they weren't working, and once the blonde had gotten over her odd jealousy she had settled for conversing with her professionally. It was better than nothing and she had missed her.Alex looked at her briefly, and her expression turned mulish.

"Don't you start with me."

"Excuse me?"

The blonde's voice cooled off, turned a little frosty. The linguist finished her drink, waved the bartender over for another. "I said don't start. Not that your concern isn't touching, _Chief_ Strauss, but I'm not in the mood for come-here-go-away."

Erin stared at Alex's profile, noted the set of her mouth. She had began to blush. This had been a mistake. She shouldn't have approached her. She decided to beat a hasty retreat before things got worse. "I'm sorry I bothered you."

"Yeah, that's right, run away," Alex muttered, then raised her voice. "Next time you want to hurt my feelings, do it on purpose, and don't apologize afterwards. It insults the both of us."

The brunette was horrified that she'd said the words out loud, but they'd been festering within for so long that it was strangely freeing. She picked up her drink and tipped it upwards, then finished the entire thing in several large gulps. Thank God vodka barely tasted like anything.

"I'm going to bed. Good night, Chief Strauss."

In the wake of the brunette's departure, Erin was so poleaxed that she just stood there staring at her retreating back. She was red-faced. Other patrons were gaping. She paid for her latest drink, leaving it mostly untouched as she also departed. She headed for the elevator, punched the button for her floor. Halfway there, she hit the number for Alex's floor. Did the woman really think she could just walk away after a remark like that?

She marched down the carpeted hall, counting doors. Her knuckles rapped on the wooden surface when she found the right number, and when Alex didn't immediately answer she said, "Dr. Blake? Open this door. Now."

Alex had been hoping for that. _Spoiling_ for it, really. She wanted to yell, to fight, and it was all Erin's fault anyway. The brunette stormed over to the door and wrenched it open. "Yeah, what?"

They just looked at each other for a breathless ten seconds, and then Erin stepped past the threshold and took her by the forearms. Alex tried to wrench free, but then the blonde was kissing her, darting in to capture her mouth. Not gentle, but not rough either.Just...determined. When she began trying to coax her mouth open, the linguist had the fleeting thought that she should have tried harder to call her husband, but the emotional floodgate was opening. She wanted to kiss her. Wanted this, wanted her, even if it was only for tonight. James was too far away, and he never had to know.

The two of them ended up on the bed, Alex on her back and Erin hovering above her. She untucked the brunette's blouse from her skirt, exposing a strip of pale stomach. The blonde's subconscious had imagined this, and her hands shook as she began to undo buttons. Alex was fit and lean. One of her shoes had come off. She kicked the other one free, and it sailed across the room. She let out a breathless laugh when Erin kissed the hollow of her throat, teeth scraping against her pulse point. One hand tangled into thick hair, gave it a pull.

Bras had always been maddening, but on this occasion they were especially so. Alex's clasped in the front, and Erin cursed as she fumbled with it. Finally she got it undone, exposing small, firm breasts and brown nipples. She felt as if she'd drown in the other woman's taste when she took one of those nipples into her mouth.

Alex squirmed, turned on and ashamed. Not ashamed enough to stop, but she registered the emotion. Her hands were on Erin's back, fingers flexing against cloth. "Bite it," she rasped, arching t her her breasts closer to the other woman's face. "Bite it just a little. Erin, please."

She felt the sting of teeth, let out a long moan. Her skirt was being clumsily hiked up, exposing her calves, then her thighs. The blonde was alternating between tonguing and suckling at her breasts while her hand worked. Alex lifted her hips, trying to help. She'd never felt so many sensations all at once. Her face was flushed, the color spreading to her neck and chest. She pulled Erin's hair harder, and the blonde rewarded her with a bite on the underside of her left breast. She yelped, then moaned when a lapping tongue soothed the pain.

"Damn it, Erin..."

The skirt had been untidily bunched up around the brunette's hips, and Erin was delighted to see that she was wearing stockings instead of hose. "For me?" "Shut up," Alex shot back. She grabbed for one of the other woman's wrists, and Erin swatted her hand away. Her other hand moved to the dark blue underwear the brunette was wearing, began to tug them down. She wanted to see as much of her as she could before the mutual insanity faded and normalcy was restored.

Half-undressed, Alex had the realization Erin had done this before when the blonde eased her thighs apart for better access. She felt the touch of fingers, closed her eyes. "Look at me," the blonde said, cupping her jaw with her free hand. "Don't hide, I want you to know it's me."

How could she not have known it? In half-remembered dreams, Erin had touched her everywhere, and sometimes even when she was with James she thought of the other woman. So knowing wasn't the problem. It was _forgetting_

"So wet." It was a whisper, almost a prayerful one. One finger. Two fingers. Three. Alex arched. 

Erin began to work her, her hand moving smooth and steady between quivering thighs. Every few thrusts, she'd curl her fingers upwards to rub against the sweet spot, then stop when Alex's movements got too hurried. She wanted to take her time, make this last. At least for now, Alex was hers and hers alone. 

"Beautiful. So lovely." 

Alex was gasping for oxygen. She'd lifted her knees into the air, and her hips rocked in tandem with the _In-Out-In-Out_ of Erin's talented fingers. Riding the pumping digits even as she hated herself just a little. She didn't even know if she could come or not. It was possible to get so worked up that you couldn't finish. She grabbed for the blonde's wrist, then let out at an obscene noise and lost her concentration when those damned fingers curved again. 

Erin could see the struggle, and she wanted to give Alex the utmost pleasure, to satisfy her. She was not a selfish lover, and Alex was...Alex was...she couldn't finish the thought, not even in the heat of the moment. 

She pulled her fingers out, and the other woman squawked an incoherent protest. Erin angled her body differently on the bed, grasped the brunette's calf and put it over her shoulder. Then she replaced her fingers with her tongue. 

Alex almost burst into tears at the new sensation, and her hand skated over Erin's shoulder before coming to rest on the back of the other woman's neck when she felt herself being lapped at. She was being reduced to a whimpering,. quivering mass of feeling, and the pleasure would surely kill her if it didn't subside. The blonde swiped at her clit determinedly, her tongue alive between trembling thighs. Alex lifted her weight up on her elbows so she could look down and see that pink tongue flicking at her. 

When she came, it was with a sob, and tears sprang to her eyes. And still Erin stayed where she was, helping her ride it out. _Remember me. Remember this_

When the final trembles had subsided, Erin kissed Alex's stomach, then sat up. She saw the tears that had begun to fall, and she sighed softly. She should have left it alone. As pleasurable as this had been, it was also a mistake. One that would only hurt in the end. 

"Erin?" 

Alex's voice was watery when she said the blonde's name, but Erin didn't turn around. "Go to sleep, Alex," she said quietly. She would go to her own bed upstairs and sleep there. Alone. She didn't need to complicate things further. 

" _Erin_." 

The other woman's voice was stronger now, and when their eyes met Alex was sitting up. Her blouse and bra were undone and nearly falling off, and her skirt was still hitched up around her waist. But she looked...she looked commanding. At the door, Erin paused. 

"Come back here. Now." 

Torn, she hovered, the door handle in her grasp. ' _Next time you want to hurt my feelings, do it on purpose, and don't apologize afterwards_ '. She didn't want to hurt her. Had never wanted to hurt her. Erin let go of the metal handle. Took two steps towards the bed. Alex's mouth softened into a slight smile. Her dark hair was tousled. "We won't do anything but sleep, I promise." 

The mattress sagged as the blonde joined the brunette, and they arranged themselves semi-comfortably. Alex was unsure of what she was doing, but continued to fumble her way along. After what they'd just done, a little sleep was the least they could do together. It might even make it less weird. 

Only the harsh light of day could say for sure if they'd just wrecked things beyond repair. 


End file.
